“You know what I mean…” “Happy Diane” would say that with a wave of her hand when she got stuck trying to come up with a word. Funny how those little things bring a smile to our faces when we get together to grieve our loss when someone we love makes their transition from this life to the next.
“Happy Diane” got her nickname because she was always positive and encouraging. Accepting that we would have to go forward without her was another team effort. The brain can play tricks – the word we want is just out of reach. Playing “Senior Charades”– with our friends helps us connect our wandering thoughts to elusive words. It’s definitely a team effort!
We go to coffee each day after water aerobics to share stories and laugh together. How many of us would keep coming if we couldn’t count on that time together and the mutual support of friends? We do it to benefit our bodies, but spirit and relationship boosts are maybe even more important. We need each other to stay healthy.
Remembering habits and characteristics somehow makes it easier for us to turn the bubbly things she would say and do into precious memories. Sometimes when leaned on us to help her remember, the word would pop up, other times we just nod and smile. We knew exactly what she was trying to say. Good friends can often finish each other’s sentences. Sharing a history with special people brings us together in a very satisfying way. No one needs to feel alone even when we’re not physically with our friends. Our hearts connect over time and distance.
Diane and I first met our freshman year at then WSU-Eau Claire when we stayed in the same dorm. What fun to reconnect with her when another group member invited me to join the group all these years later. We didn’t skip a beat as we shared 40 years of family and career history. Making new memories actually enriches and adds depth to the original ones. We wish we could go on making more with her.
Saying good bye to dear friends is heart wrenching. Loss leaves big hole in our lives, even our identity changes. It seems to happen more often every year. But we can appreciate having loved and the memories that are ours to keep. Over time, that may get easier, but the hole simply becomes a part of our lives. We are different for having loved.
Thank you, Happy Diane, and to God for sharing her with us. She was God’s dear child, showing unconditional love throughout her lifetime. We’ve been blessed. Please let your friends know how much they mean to you in the precious present.